The Standard Eight
Eight inches, two squeakers in the balls. The one everybody picks up at the table and then buys three of.
$25 Pick it up locally, grab it at an event, or have it shipped anywhere in the US.Size optional.
Squeak mandatory.
Handmade novelty crochet out of Fort Mill, South Carolina, just south of Charlotte. Keychain small all the way up to unreasonably large, and the eight inch comes with two squeakers in the balls, which is the part people tell their friends about.
The range
What's on the Table
All crocheted by hand in soft cotton, stuffed firm, with the squeakers stitched in so they stay put. No two come out quite identical.
Name Your Size
Keychain up to genuinely ridiculous. Same build, scaled. Tell me the number and the color you're after, and I'll quote it.
From $12Add a Piercing
Real jewelry fitted to any size in the range. The price depends on what the piece itself costs, so tell me what you're after and I'll quote it.
$5 & upBoobies
Made in a range of skin tones and sizes, as a single or a matching pair. Tell me the tone and the size and I'll match it.
Single from $12Pair from $20
Bookmark Thongs
Sized roughly to the book so it sits where it should and doesn't slide out. Tell me what you're reading.
From $12Sizes, Roughly
- 3" keychain or bag charm
- 6" the polite one
- 8" the standard, two squeakers
- 12" a statement piece
Out in the wild
Where to find us in person
Markets, reader events and pop-ups. Come squeeze one before you commit, which is the whole point of doing this in person.
Sat 16 Oct 2027
Reader event
Once Upon a Reader Shelf Event
Columbus, GA
More dates are being booked now.
The rest of the markets, reader events and pop-ups will be listed here as they're confirmed.
About me
Hi, I'm Lee.
I started crocheting to use up a yarn stash that had gotten genuinely out of hand. Then I made one as a joke for a friend's birthday, the joke went over far too well, and strangers started asking. Here we are.
Somewhere along the way someone said it should squeak. Then someone else said it should squeak twice. I have learned not to argue with the customer.
Everything comes out of my house in Fort Mill, one stitch at a time. I will make it bigger. I will make it in your school colors. I will put a piercing in it. The only thing I will not do is tell your mother what you ordered.
- Yarn
- Cotton and acrylic blends
- Squeakers
- Two, stitched in to stay. Spot clean, don't soak
- Sizing
- 3" to 12", custom on request
- Custom work
- 2–3 weeks, 50% deposit, photos before it ships
- Bulk orders
- From 10 pieces, 3 weeks' notice
- Packaging
- Plain outer, nothing on the label
- Pickup
- Local pickup or collect it at an event
- Shipping
- US only
Contact
Get in Touch
Custom sizes, bulk orders and bookings all start here. Pick what it's about so it lands in the right pile.